Posted on Sun, Dec. 26, 2004

DINNER COMES WITH ALL THE TRIMMINGS

A suburban church marks Christmas by creating family for those who need one.

BY MARA H. GOTTFRIED

Pioneer Press

'To me, this is wonderful because it's like the big family we don't have. For people who don't have family, this feels like family.'

It has been a horrible year for Margarita Perez and her husband, Joe. The thought of spending Christmas alone was depressing. Then they met the Marsdens.

The Perezes, of West St. Paul, have had a death in the family, a tragic fire and economic hardships this year, and they wanted Christmas to be something special. They have no family in the Twin Cities. But on Saturday they found one, with about 65 others who joined the Revs. Jon and Sue Marsden for a traditional holiday dinner.

"You don't know people here, but they make you feel warm," Margarita Perez said.

The Marsdens used to give people Christmas dinners to take home, until they decided having a full stomach wasn't enough. No one should have to be alone on Christmas, they thought.

So for the past seven or eight years, they've served a Christmas dinner at their church, River Heights Vineyard Church in Inver Grove Heights. Annually they share the Christmas spirit, and the tradition continued Saturday. The food was good. The company, even better.

"There are other things people need on Christmas," Jon Marsden said.

"What we're trying to do is make it feel like a family Christmas," Sue Marsden said. She and Jon have six children, ages 14 to 27, and the church dinner "has become part of the way we celebrate Christmas."

More than 40 people came to the church Saturday, along with about 25 church members who sat at tables among the guests so everyone would have someone to talk to. The church, in the back of a small strip mall, was made cozy with garlands, lights, a Christmas tree and the sound of conversation and laughter over the candlelit tables.

Perez was feeling down before she saw a notice about the dinner in a newspaper. Her mother, who lived in Eagan, died in May. She was the one who "would keep everyone in the family together," Perez said.

"We were planning to spend Christmas alone," said Perez. With their car in the shop, they didn't have a way to get to the church Saturday, until Jon Marsden offered to pick them up.

Doug Lacy, a River Heights Vineyard member who did much of the cooking, was glad to be around his church family for Christmas. He helped prepare the meal — six turkeys, two hams, 40 pounds of potatoes, stuffing, salad and homemade rolls. Some churchgoers baked cookies ahead of time or donated money.

Aside from the feast, there were crafts for the children and carol singing. The Marsdens read aloud "The Christmas Miracle of Jonathan Toomey," a children's story about a spiritual re-awakening of a bitter man, and even the adults seemed to enjoy it.

"This is what we're hoping for — interaction," said Jon Marsden, gesturing around the room.

Some people go to the dinner year after year. Susan Jones of St. Paul, there with her 14-year-old daughter, said she'd taken part at least five times. Jones said she has no extended family members that she gathers with on Christmas.

"To me, this is wonderful because it's like the big family we don't have," she said. "For people who don't have family, this feels like family."


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Mara H. Gottfried can be reached at mgottfried@pioneerpress.com or 651-228-5262.